On my drive home from work today, I had an epiphany that was actually more like a deep, out-loud talk with myself. The people in the cars next to me probs thought I was crazy, but IDGAF. I began reflecting on my summer internship that is coming to an end and how grateful I am for all of the many skills I gained through this experience. Disclaimer: Drake was on the radio so, naturally, I started getting in my feelings. I was like, “wow, I bring so much to the table. I know how to do so many things. I’m totally going to be able to get the next job that I want” Writing this down now, it doesn’t make very much sense (I blame Drake), as I even started talking out-loud like I would in an interview, and honestly, I was selling myself. Like damn, I would hire myself.
Then something very unfortunate occurred.
Drake’s song ended.
I then began analyzing the high expectations that we set for ourselves. I’m sure many of you can relate - people always tell me how great I am at all these things, how I have so much potential, how I can achieve whatever I set my mind to, blah, blah, blah…
I hear these things all the time… Okay yes, these comments usually come from my biggest fans (S/O to my parents & bf) But, they still never seem to ingrain into my mental conscious. I never let myself believe or accept these compliments and praises; I always think to myself, “No, you can do so much better.”
I first thought about this in the work setting - when you set a goal for yourself, it feels great to achieve it. But the job is never done just then. That one goal forms another one, and then another one, and then a few more, to the point where you start developing feelings of self-doubt and loath. You begin to overthink all of your abilities and question whether you are good enough.
It has taken me some time to overcome these overwhelming thoughts and personal struggles. I had to realize that all of these feelings are normal, as competition is one of the most basic functions of human nature. We don’t like to be vulnerable and discuss these personal struggles with others. Instead, we like to put on a front and act like we have it all together, when in reality none of us do. This is because we live in a society known as the news feed. And the news feed is filtered as fuck. It is a fake life narrative where people only share what they want you to see. People are sacrificing authenticity for image and when you are surrounded by what seems to be perfection, it is inevitable to compare yourself to others.
But what if you were real? What if you were authentic? Here is a life hack: self-awareness. To be self-aware, you have to allow yourself to have a perspective change. You have to take time for yourself to take a step back and recognize all of your progress. Be like MJ and take a look at that (wo)man in the mirror. Only then will you allow yourself to appreciate your accomplishments. You have to be authentic and real with yourself because Lord knows no one else is going to be real with you.
READ PT. 2 HERE